Every 31st December evening for the past few years has been characteristic of two things: its the single biggest let-down of the year - all plans go haywire and you end up spending it at an uncle's place or in some crappy restaurant waiting for your turn to get in. The other is resolutions. I cant think of the last resolution that I made and kept. This is about one such resolution: Hanging the fireman boots.
Relationship management, wikipedia defines as, a multifaceted process, that focuses on creating two-way exchanges so that they have an intimate knowledge of each others' needs and wants.
If this definition were so crystal clear to everyone and they followed it religiously why would there ever be problems in relationships. In this post I am going to throw some "free" gyaan that would make my presence or advise in such a situation, as a relationship manager or the disaster management dude Batty, redundant. I am slowly phasing out my role as a personal consultant for a reason that is still not obvious to some people: I have never been in a relationship. I have no clue as to what you are asking. Cant you see what am emphasizing is textbook definition of relationship management because I just want to help? But for some reason I have earned the tag that I have started to hate - The disaster management guy, the fireman who can extinguish any fire. TIME OUT!!! I am hanging my boots.
Here they go....
1. Listening is the foundation of any relationship. Trust me!! An hmm.. hmm... when the other person speaks his/her heart out makes a lot of difference.
2. Do not take a decision when in a vulnerable situation - take a break, let your emotions go for a country ride and then take a call. Think of both the good moments and bad moments that you have shared and which prevails.
3. Corollary to the previous: Never take advantage of a vulnerable person. He/She is bound to like you back. That doesn't last. It is easy to push a person walking on the edge over a cliff, but remember he/she takes you down as well. Be a friend and save the relationship. That earns more brownie points than the former.
4. Pretense of character and nobility doesn't work wonders. Its like intra-day trading. At the end of the day you got to square off your positions.
5. I miss you, I like you don't alone count as leads that the other sex throws. There is a minimum barrier and a maximum barrier to these leads. In that band go for it. Below it, its too early. Above it, what the heck were you doing? The person is already searching for alternatives. Make a dash.
6. The essence of relationship management is to make every customer realize that he/she is the most valuable customer. Giving a person that feeling of importance does not make you any less.
7. If something embarrassing has transpired between friends, the onus of starting a conversation and talking falls on the person who has said No and not on the other. The latter is a shattered person. Its upto the former to make him/her realize how important and relevant he/she still is? By avoiding the person you will have won the battle but lost a good friend in that attempt.
8. Never use a messenger or in-between or sms as an alternative to talking. Face-to-face conversations or hearing the voice of loved ones rekindles old and supposedly lost fire.
9. Don't have unrealistic expectations about anyone. Everyone lives for himself/herself. That doesn't make a person anymore selfish or anyless caring. Every person is meant to be so.
10. The most important one: Never take the advise of a third person on how to handle your relationship. You are the best judge. Just stick to the textbook definition and the above lines and you'll find the world a better place to live in. That third person includes me. All I have tried to do when people have come to me with problems is take their emotions on a country ride; de-clog them so that they can make a sane decision.
Criticisms to this post are unwelcome as you are really not the target audience. In retrospect when you become one, please go through this and you will see the relevance.
To insinuations of gyaan-baazi and a fart-post, agree. This is one. But to each his motivation for writing something. I promised a friend a post a week.
Signed,
Batty
Author's note: As much as this blog is close to me, I really need another platform for my forthcoming compilation. So I shall be visible on http://www.letterstomydad.wordpress.com/ as well which goes live sometime next week. Watch out for that space to get some real quality anecdotes in my life - some emotional, some funny, some embarassing but all true as letters to my dad.
Relationship management, wikipedia defines as, a multifaceted process, that focuses on creating two-way exchanges so that they have an intimate knowledge of each others' needs and wants.
If this definition were so crystal clear to everyone and they followed it religiously why would there ever be problems in relationships. In this post I am going to throw some "free" gyaan that would make my presence or advise in such a situation, as a relationship manager or the disaster management dude Batty, redundant. I am slowly phasing out my role as a personal consultant for a reason that is still not obvious to some people: I have never been in a relationship. I have no clue as to what you are asking. Cant you see what am emphasizing is textbook definition of relationship management because I just want to help? But for some reason I have earned the tag that I have started to hate - The disaster management guy, the fireman who can extinguish any fire. TIME OUT!!! I am hanging my boots.
Here they go....
1. Listening is the foundation of any relationship. Trust me!! An hmm.. hmm... when the other person speaks his/her heart out makes a lot of difference.
2. Do not take a decision when in a vulnerable situation - take a break, let your emotions go for a country ride and then take a call. Think of both the good moments and bad moments that you have shared and which prevails.
3. Corollary to the previous: Never take advantage of a vulnerable person. He/She is bound to like you back. That doesn't last. It is easy to push a person walking on the edge over a cliff, but remember he/she takes you down as well. Be a friend and save the relationship. That earns more brownie points than the former.
4. Pretense of character and nobility doesn't work wonders. Its like intra-day trading. At the end of the day you got to square off your positions.
5. I miss you, I like you don't alone count as leads that the other sex throws. There is a minimum barrier and a maximum barrier to these leads. In that band go for it. Below it, its too early. Above it, what the heck were you doing? The person is already searching for alternatives. Make a dash.
6. The essence of relationship management is to make every customer realize that he/she is the most valuable customer. Giving a person that feeling of importance does not make you any less.
7. If something embarrassing has transpired between friends, the onus of starting a conversation and talking falls on the person who has said No and not on the other. The latter is a shattered person. Its upto the former to make him/her realize how important and relevant he/she still is? By avoiding the person you will have won the battle but lost a good friend in that attempt.
8. Never use a messenger or in-between or sms as an alternative to talking. Face-to-face conversations or hearing the voice of loved ones rekindles old and supposedly lost fire.
9. Don't have unrealistic expectations about anyone. Everyone lives for himself/herself. That doesn't make a person anymore selfish or anyless caring. Every person is meant to be so.
10. The most important one: Never take the advise of a third person on how to handle your relationship. You are the best judge. Just stick to the textbook definition and the above lines and you'll find the world a better place to live in. That third person includes me. All I have tried to do when people have come to me with problems is take their emotions on a country ride; de-clog them so that they can make a sane decision.
Criticisms to this post are unwelcome as you are really not the target audience. In retrospect when you become one, please go through this and you will see the relevance.
To insinuations of gyaan-baazi and a fart-post, agree. This is one. But to each his motivation for writing something. I promised a friend a post a week.
Signed,
Batty
Author's note: As much as this blog is close to me, I really need another platform for my forthcoming compilation. So I shall be visible on http://www.letterstomydad.wordpress.com/ as well which goes live sometime next week. Watch out for that space to get some real quality anecdotes in my life - some emotional, some funny, some embarassing but all true as letters to my dad.
3 comments:
Never shy away from ur core competencies.
Just like ur talks! thats us asset, so keep talking , fk watever ppl may say...keep helping ppl..giving ur advices...and ya...keep the Hindi effort coming..
;)
Way to go Batty!
Thts like ICICI RM ;-)
i think i read those 10 points somewhere before ;-)
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