Love Story 2030 - Part 1

The seed of this post was sown about a year ago in Mansi's room. 429 had become our hangout den after 623. The usual characters: Mansi, Maru, Atlee and batty. We were pulling each others' legs when one of us mentioned how our children would be. Though it didn’t last more than 2-3 mins, it struck me that it would surely make for a good read. So how do you make a story out of that? How about making them study in NITIE together?? Hmm...something more. They don’t know that their parents were the 623 gang. Hmm...Interesting...70s bollywood effect. But kinda lacks punch.Fine....they fall in love with each other. Yeah that’s right. It’s Love Story 2030. Fasten your seatbelts.

Characters - These are just for Part 1, the other character will be introduced in Part 2
Ashok Pujar(M), Puma Chandrashekhar(F), Padmanabhan Swaminathan(M), Nita Nemji Maru(F), Praveen Bhatnagar(M)

Situation - Eco Project

Place - Room Number: 429

All of them look at each other as to who should start the discussion.

Ashok(whispers): Yaar ek baat bata tera naam Padmanabhan se Paddy kaise ban gaya?

Paddy: Yaar meri mom pakka south indian hai. Isliye Padmanabhan naam rakh diya. Mere papa ne bohot protest kiya ki future mei ise problems honge. Par kisi ne suna hi nahi. Padmanabhan kisi bhagwan ka naam hoga. Isliye mera naam mere papa ne hi a.k.a Paddy rakh diya aur ghar mei jo bhi dost aate hain unko bhi bol diya ki iska naam Paddy hai. To mai Padmanabhan se Paddy ban gaya.

Ashok: To seedha bolna tha ghar mei bulate hain. Itna gyaan kyon sunata hai tu.

Praveen (Jumps on to the bed where both of us are sitting): Abe kis ladki ke baare mei baat kar rahe ho? I'll also join.

Paddy (embarrassed that the other two girls are left alone): Kuch nahi. Let’s start the discussion. So lets all introduce us.

Introduction over and now everyone again stares at one another as to now what.

Ashok(Trying to break the ice): We should have more of our meetings outside lets say at dinners or coffee days. Kaam bhi ho jayega. Ek break bhi milega.

Praveen: Kuch kiya hi nahi. Kisse break lena hai. Abe paisa nahi kharch karna. Idhar hi karte hain.

Puma: Actually we should go out. It’s at least better than staying at this place. It looks like they have not repaired this room since the 90s.

Ashok (winks at Puma): Haan. She is right. Our mood will be better outside as well. We will be able to work better.

Nita: Arre...jaldi decide karo naaa.....mujhe tayyar hone ke liye half hour lagega.

Paddy (smiling): Nothing doing. First we split the work. Nita and Praveen - You research on the internet and get the material. Give the material to me and Puma. We will work on the document and then we pass it on to Ashok. Chal..you guys keep discussing. I'll have a fag and come.

Inside the room - Nita and Praveen get to discussing and Ashok is upto his usual stuff.

Ashok: So are you new to Bombay?

Puma: Yup. My mom and Dad are from Hyderabad.

Ashok: Its interesting cos your Hindi sounds more Mumbaish.

Puma: I actually studied in Pune and stayed at my relatives' place. Kal mujhe unse milne Pune jaana hai. Par bolne se dar lagta hai. This Paddy seems to be very strict.

Ashok: No. Not really. He is a kind a show-off. Dikhata hai waise. Waise koi load nahi hai. Mai Praveen ko janta hoon. Woh internet mei kaam ki cheez kam dekhta hai

On the other side

Nita: Kam karne kab baithna hai?

Praveen: Arre kaam ko rehne do. Tujhe lagta hai Ashok aur Puma kaam ke baare mei baat kar rahe hain. Waise hi timepass karte hain, coffe peete hain. movie dekte hain. I have got some old videos and songs that my dad passed onto me.

Nita: Oh...Is that so? I would like to see those movies. Actually my parents lived in a village and there was no computer in the house. My dad wouldn’t allow me to touch his laptop. I overheard him telling my mom that I might see the TP folder on his laptop. He has been preserving that for over 20 years. Wonder what’s in that.

Praveen: Koi load nahi hai. You can come to my room.

Nita: Sure.

Paddy enters the room.

Ashok: Abe itna time kyon laga

Paddy: Abe woh Dean Anil Pundir ka phone aa gaya. Uski beti ki shaadi mei media arrange karwana hai. Mai kya ghanta hoon. Ye saala insti kabhi nahi sudhrega.

Nita and Puma leave the room and the three of us get to talking.

Praveen: Abe chodd na. Load kya le raha hai. Ashok ki tarah rehna chahiye. Tere jaate hi lag gaya Puma ke saat.

Ashok: Kuch bhi ho mai tere jaise Ambuja nahi maar raha tha ladki ke saamne.

Paddy: Ye saala Ambuja kya hota hai.

Ashok: Abe kuch nahi. Mere papa ke ek dost the Andy naam se. Woh hamesha PJ marte rehte the. Usko hi Ambuja bolte hain.

Paddy: Andy se yaad aata hai. Mere papa ke ek dost the jo apne kisse Andy ke naam se sunaate the. Kahin woh tere papa to nahin.

Ashok: Oye. Baap pe mat jaa.

Paddy: Chal..chodd.. (Winks at Ashok) Acha suna Nita ka koi boyfriend hai. (Both look at Praveen)

Ashok: Haan suna thoda dicey hai unka relationship.

Praveen: Ghanta saalon. Aur koi topic nahi hai. Waise bhi Puma koi kam babe nahi hai and she is single as well (winks at me)

Paddy: Haan yaar. Mazaa ayega uske saat kaam karne mei. Isliye maine usko apne team mei le liya doc banane mei.

Ashok: Yaar..us doc ke baare mei...Humne decide kiya hai ki mai aur Puma doc banyenge. Aur tu presentation banade.

Paddy: Mereko Ch@#$# samajh ke rakha hai. Mai kyon na uske saat karoon.

Ashok: Kyonki kal woh Pune jaa rahi hai

Praveen: To tu doc bana. Woh dono presentation banaenge.

Ashok: Nahi yaar. Kal mujhe bhi kaam hai. Mujhe use chodne station jaana hai.

Praven and Paddy break into laughter.

Paddy: To ye Ashok Travels suru kar raha hai. Kya rate hai be.

Ashok (blushing): Abe chod na..

Paddy: Abe tum dono pair mei kaam karoge to mai kya.......... you dont want me to complete the sentence...

Ashok: Mujhe pata hai tu bhadkega. Isliye maine Shalini ko bol diya ek aur vacancy hai humaare group mei. Woh kal se join karegi humei. Tu uske saat kaam kar.

Paddy: Ye kaun hai. Naam aajtak suna nahi. Saala aajkal MBA mei 800 log padte hain aur 12 batches hain. Kaunse batch mei kaun hai samajh mei nahi aata.

Ashok: Mere batch ki hai.

Paddy: Acha poora naam to bata.

Ashok: Khud dekh le.

Ye Shalini kaun hai. Kiski beti hai. Stay tuned to this space.

Written and Created by

The batty

Nothing wierd about it!!!

It happened about 6 months ago. I was going through a personal low when suddenly one of my friends told me I was wierd. I normally let them pass, but not this time. I prodded her as to why she felt so. Though the explanation wasn't quite satisfactory she sensed a feeling I had taken it to heart and then said "Don't bother!! All of us are. " I actually took this to heart and started thinking how wierd people actually were. Hell!! People are.

I recently watched the movie Tashan. What a horrible movie! Comic stunts, crazy dialogues. Then suddenly a friend pointed out to me saying isn't that how all Rajinikanth movies are supposed to be. Hell No! I said. But as the movie went forward I thought it was the perfect script for a Rajinikanth movie. Its so wierd I can picture him doing the stunts and enjoying it but not an Akshay Kumar. Its so unbelievingly vague how we have pictured somethings in our mind and refuse to move out of that plane.

Ever wondered why its always Jerry who wins in Tom and Jerry cartoons. Can you picture a victorious Tom and still enjoy it? No! We want Jerry to win. So what if in real life its always the cat that gets the better of the mouse. In that cartoon it has to be Jerry. Thats the food and fodder "pharmoola". Ever read a Dr. Watson brainstorm winning a case for Sherlock Holmes. No. Even if there were we wouldn't have enjoyed it. How many people know for a fact that Sherlock Holmes himself, in the words of the author, said he has been duped by 3 women in the past. People refuse to acknowledge that. Can you picture a Marlon Brando becoming a Gandhian? Its wierd when it comes to Bollywood we have gone on to make dark-hero-dies-in-the-end movies to become classics. But when its comics or fiction we want the Jerries to win.

Lets get more specific now. My mom had a flat in Noida that we had rented out. The last person who had occupied the house was a Punjabi and created a lot of problems by not vacating it. After everything was settled my mom was hell bent against renting it out to Punjabi. We had to lock up the house for about an year without renting it out. The next year I accompanied my mom to Delhi, we had to pay some tax dues. We landed up in the wrong place and a person offered us to drop us at the right location. Here is the hitch: he was a Punjabi. Surprisingly my mom accepted the offer. Just when I was about to think my mom was over it, she asked me - "How much money do you think he expects from us? He is obviously not doing this for free. " I laughed. We rented our house to a south Indian for half the market price and after 2 years my mom tells me - " See, I told you. South Indians are safe bets. He hasn't given us any problem. " I told her - "Why would he? At half the price the house is a steal. He'll do whatever it takes to keep us happy. " When people become obsessed with a particular fact its hard to believe they aren't wierd.

My grandfather hates the Congress(read Sonia Gandhi) so much that he still keeps arguing Narsimha Rao was responsible for demolishing the Babri Masjid and not the right wing parties. There is this friend of mine who hates Tamil people because her family was once duped when they were in Chennai. Its wierd she happens to be one of my best friends. When I confronted her with this fact I expected a response "OK! Not all Tamil people are bad. " But instead this is what I got - " You were born in Delhi. You are a pseudo-south Indian. You are actually a north Indian." She refuses to acknowledge me as a south Indian. How about the fact that I watch Rajinikanth movies? No!! Thats just cos you are wierd. I just laughed.

Hey! But wait a minute. Wasnt this blog supposed to be about how wierd I was? Thats right. Lets see how it is. I'll explain it with an instance.

About two years ago when I joined NITIE, not surprisingly my room mate fell in love with a girl. During one of our outings I heard HIM tell HER how to get the glow on the skin and how curd helps in getting it. I laughed my stomach out. I told a mutual friend about how wierd that was and both of us laughed. Fast forward a week later, I happened to accidentally scan the mutual friend's gtalk chat messages with his "interest" and what do I find. Smileys being traded. She throws one smiley, our hero types two. When I asked him about it, he started smiling sheepishly. I asked him are both of you having a competition as to who is wierder? He gave me this bizarre explanation saying thats how you talk to girls. I got totally pissed off. I wanted to prove to him he was wrong. The next day when I was talking to the girl I was in love with, I decided I'll not use any of the "wierdo expressions" and you wont believe I didnt have words other than Yes, No, I dont know prompting her to ask me if I was doing ok. Its hard not to be wierd, I realised. It actually ended with my friends making a big issue out of catching me type three smileys in a row.

The point of this post is all of us are wierd. But why do people selectively acknowledge that some people are wierd? The reason according to me is, some people( read me) in an attempt not to be wierd and be a notch above the rest lose our original identities. These are the people who are "classified" as wierds. There is nothing wrong in being wierd. All of us are. People love us for our stupidities, our dogmatic ideas. Why try and be different? There is nothing wierd about it.

Signed,
Batty

P.S. For people with a keen eye, wierd is actually spelt "weird". I, on purpose, let it remain "wierd" throughout the post. In the first attempt everybody would spell it wierd. Why let a Microsoft correct us? There is nothing wierd about it.